Earlier today I looked at my old livejournal I hadn’t posted on it in 2 years now but out of curiosity I read through what I posted. Two of the posts related to the court case that was going on at the time, one about the verdict and another about the sentence. One at the time I was happy with the other I felt really let down by. He had got away with a 2 year community order and 5 years signing the sex offenders register as the judge thought the 12 months he spent on remand were sufficient in prison terms.
It wasn’t till after I read them and looked at the date did I realise that those two years are now up. He’s done his time, bar the whole sex offenders register bit. He’s now a ‘free’ man so to speak. Yet I still have to live with it, now it’s got past the stage where I think about it every day I probably don’t think about it once a week now. But every now and then something happens or there is a news story that brings it all back.
I have got a lot better at dealing with it, I remember a matter of months after the trial we had lectures at university on Rape, and in all honesty I think my brain just turned off during them I don’t recall anything of the lectures. The only thing I remember is the tutor asking if I was alright after them and if I needed to talk that her office was always open. I never took her up on the offer it was one of those things I tried to deal with myself, and in the most part I have done.
There is still only 3 people who know me who know just what happened that night, my girlfriend at the time, my best friend and my mum, and she only found out because she was in court with me at the trial as I felt I needed her support to get through the day. Which rates as the second worst day of my life.
Anyhow, I’m now sat here feeling rather numb and not knowing what to do. Stupid inquisitive nature reading what I posted.
